I've had a very overwhelming week with the girls. I think we have officially hit the terrible two's!! I've been treading "emotional water" all week. Today I felt like I was about to go under. I've just felt like sitting down and crying. Marie broke some more Halloween decor (she's been doing that all month) McKenzie woke up in a terrible mood and started the morning off by having a crying fit! I tried to make it to Tyler's football game but was only there for ten minutes because I had no strength to deal with the girls. In fact, I told Aaron I was going home because i truly felt like I might just pass out .
My stomach hurts and I feel my soul feeling the full wait of mothering twins! I love them so much, but i don't know how I'm going to survive the next few years. I don't want to be a "mean' mom but I find myself having to raise my voice a lot more just to get their attention. Not to mention I can't even count how many times i count to "three" in a day or chase them from the car into the house, or drag them upstairs for a nap.....Ugh, there I go again, I complain too much!
I really wouldn't have it any other way. I wanted more children for so long....i know this is just a stage and I have to find a way to stay sane and in control.
I came home and immediately got on Neinies dialogues. ( I don't' think the name is spelled right) but she is the burn victim that lives in Utah. She had an inspirational post link to Mormon.org and i watched a video on the atonement. It brought tears to my eyes as i realized that though I don't have the burden of grieves sins right now, I do have the "burden" of mothering twins. I sobbed as the feeling of just wanting Christ to hold me in his arms and tell me that he would help me, and strengthen me to do the job that I know i must do.
Though I still feel overwhelmed at the moment....I know that as soon as I hit my knees and ask for strength it will be given to me.
Kristen
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