life lessons...

dear Reader,
How the painful life lessons are... I wish I was the perfect person that I want to be. I wish I didn't' have to learn and grow anymore. For the growing brings very painful "growing pains". This week has taught me that I'm not as trusting in my own abilities as I thought. I didn't' realize that my ego was so fragile! It embarrasses me that I would even feel this way.

I have learned that not all inner thoughts should be shared, because those who love you will jump to your defense to protect you. Those you love you will want to do something to take the pain away, even if the pain is superficial.

How do I become and react the way I should? Why does the natural man/woman take over sometimes even despite your best intentions? When I'm in pain, i tend to hide and wait for it to pass...but others want to say my feelings for me. Its fine line to know when to be quiet and let the storm pass and when to say something. How do you know?

Relationships are very funny. Any good relationship, family or friends take a lot of hard work, understanding and forgiveness. Sometimes I lack in the forgiveness department. Sometimes i forget to turn the other cheek and realize that the person is not trying to harm or hurt me...they just don't see things how i see things.

Funny how when you've wronged someone it feels like you've committed a "sin". The wrong "hangs over your neck" like a huge stone that you desperately want to break free from. I hope that I can be a better person...I hope i can over come the "natural man". I hope i can see past my own feelings and think of others more than me. I hope to right the wrongs that have taken place. I hope that forgiveness is on both sides. I hope that those who have been hurt by my protector understand love for someone else can make you do and say things you would not normally. I hope that i can be the person next time in a situation like this that i can be proud of...I hope I have learned my lesson...I don't want to go through this again!!!

Kristen